The greatest love.

I enjoyed a wonderful fellowship with two of my closest friends yesterday. Thank you for standing by me despite your tight schedules the next day ^^. It was one whole night of good time spent! ^^

I teared abit, sharing about someone whom I felt very burden for. I felt simply helpless. And a timely reminder warms my heart a bit.

He says, "don't you feel that, your burdens are uncalled for? Only Jesus is the saviour, you are not. Sometimes, you need to let go and let God."

Hammy told me the same things, several times in my life.

So did....Jesus.

The people around me says, go to him.
Jesus says, come to me.

It just dawn upon me, the greatest act of love that someone had on me, was letting me go, and letting God nurture me and help me.

I know, you had prayed for me.
I would pray for them too.

God is love. =)

Answered Prayer.

At some point of my adolescent years...
I thought to myself...
one day, I want to help screw up kids, get their life back on tracks.

I believe... God had heard me.
As usual.
Seriously, he is neither deaf nor believe in ear muffs..

Spiderman!




I'll marry someone like that! Haha

My muse...

inspires me totally.

*loves* =)

Good day!

I had a good day today.
Work was pretty fine...with good breakfast.
Caregroup is fun with the grads girls!! ^^

Well, the real treat comes in while I was shopping around town before I meet Gideon.

Thanks dear for the gift card! Comes in very timely, bought some books and also my long desired Micheal buble CD. ^^ Some tops from TOPSHOP and a $10 voucher for my next shopping trip, oh man! God is really good. Hence, I went to meet Gideon all radiant and beaming, not to mention super NICE! Ah wells...I'm going back to borders to get more books, really need to enrich myself! So, if you wana bless me, please bless me with Borders gift cards...hehe..



Just wana end this post with....




Chanel 2.55

I never thought that there would be a day that I will be attract to it.
But you see, I'm a sucker for classics and vintage.
I definitely prefer Coco Chanel to Karl Lagerfeld.
I like Chanel's practical and no nonsense approach towards fashion.
Understated glamour =)
I'm just seeing this all over the place....I am really loving it =)

He says, "You are someone who enjoys luxury, but you are ok without it. Say you marry rich husband and he suddenly goes poor, you will still stand by him and go through hardship with him. You value human relationship more than luxury."

Yes, I agree.
Well, the best luxury is found in relationships =)

I'm a beautiful girl =)

^-^

God is good to her in many many ways.
He blessed her with a bible when she needs it.
He blessed her with an unexpected borders gift voucher.
He always provided for her in many ways, so that she's never really in need.

She learnt that weaning is not easy.
Perhaps, she had weaned too prematurely, prefering milo to milk. Ditching the pacifiers at a very young age. When she had it all, it was easy to let go, but when she grows up, she suddenly realise, she likes to hold on.
She tried to hold on to daddy, but he too was gone.
So were the many others.
The ones whom she made them cry. All gone.

There is a part in her, that whimpers when a voice go, "uh-uh... sorry, you have forfeited your chance and now it's too late."

If I miss a train, I'll be late, I can catch the next one.
If I miss a meal, I will only be hungry, there is always the next meal.
If I miss a chance, I don't know when it will be given to me again, perhaps never.
If I miss you, probably coz I didn't see you, never again.

*Just let me live in the shadow of your beauty. She's used being under your shadow, she doesn't know how to fly.

Running

The song that's on repeat in my PDA, in my mind.




Possibilities, anything is possible, so long as God wills it. The resources that he has to offer is limitless, however it is our human wilfulness that stop us from receiving the full amount.
Like many out there, there are times, that I don't want to read the bible even though I know I should, coz I don't want to know what he wants to say. Then I would keep asking him to speak to me, only to subconciously block out my ears. Then I venture in my own ways, to find that it's futile.
When I come back to him, running after him....
I realise that only he, is "my joy and my song."

I will press on. Press on.

Just a little something.

I am quite a protective spiritual parent.
Like all good parents, I am antagonistic towards my "children" mixing with bad company.
They say, "mix with the pigs and smell like the pigs"
My girls, are good girls, suppose to smell nice nice can?

Alrights... and so... I've been feeling *note* feeling, means I cannot control one right.... ya I had been feeling rather down, a little angsty, and so I decided to look to some positive things to help me avert all the negativities...

Lo and behold...

reading here and there, I chance upon a super old encouragement message from hammy chong.
what struck me was "when your shoulders feel lighter, you can soar higher"
She signed off with.. " o.-"
How cute?
When I was a younger believer I often get irritated by the way she handle things in such a nonchalant manner. I guess, not that she didn't care, but she found peace in God. Still, nowadays, she is always more non chalant than me. But I know she care, OK?

God had been good to me to surround me with wonderful people!
I enjoyed the the company of....
Eevoon on mon, it was impromtu, nonetheless fruitful =)
Gideon and Debbie on tues, we went shopping for Rachel's bday stuff!
Shirls Gideon Deb and Rachel on wed! We celebrated her birthday!
Friday's meet up with Uncle Chris is also a wonderful one, he specially tailored a bible study for me! Hehs. It's really nice having him, assured me that he will give me full support and provide me with every resource that I need...

Now... now... God.
I need to pray and seek more.

Hi and goodbye

I always remembered your exasperated: " Do you get it?"
Me trying very hard... frowning a little: "YAH."

I think, you thought that I didn't get it.
But I think, I really do.
But I pretend I don't.
I like the way, the frown softens to a smile.
I like that sparkle in your eyes.
Yet, it fails to shine, each time we met.



"Hi And Goodbye"

I see you walking down the street
I catch your eye before we meet
But you look down to check your feet
I wish I'd say are you okay?
You're looking better everyday
But I just smile and walk away
Why did two lovers
End up like strangers
When did we stop seeing eye to eye

[CHORUS]
Everyday you took my breath away
But now theres no reply
Only hi, goodbye
Like a dream come true
When it was me and you
Now I just don't know why
We say hi and
Hi and goodbye
(Hi and goodbye)

I know it sounds like a cliche
But when I pass our old cafe
It always feels like yesterday (like yesterday)
We shared a blanket in the cold
To give a promise made of gold
We had a deal through heart and soul
Why did two lovers
End up like strangers
When did we stop seeing eye to eye

[CHORUS]

I remember the way
We always had words to say
And nothing could tear us apart
I knew you by heart
We were eye to eye
Now we're only hi and goodbye
(Hi and goodbye)

[CHORUS x2]

Hi and goodbye (goodbye)
Hi and goodbye
Hi and goodbye (ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh)
Hi and goodbye (goodbye)

Romancing him.

It's like a love hate relationship.
Perhaps, coz the feminine mind is often fickled, easy tempted.
And the masculine mind is possesive, jealous.
It's like a Tug O War.
Feels like we are quarreling.
We argue alot, don't we?
And we take turns to walk away.
We tried to kill each other with our silences.
I guess you have the upper hand, you know more than I do.

Now, love, can we stop all this?
I don't like the way things are right now.

You know I love you.
Perhaps you think it's not enough.
Perhaps it's really not enough.
Alrights... you love me more.
You win.

Draw me close to you

You know, each day, I need to deal with pressures from so many different arenas, it got me disoriented at times. I'm often in a daze, or it seems that I'm in a daze, because, I am thinking. I am constantly thinking. Sometimes, I prefer to think then to talk. In fact, I hate talking, coz it seems like the more I talk, the more wrong stuff will come out of my mouth.

Often times, I really feel as if nothing good comes out of my mouth, nothing good went in either. Too much junk food had made me fat.
Few people around me had kindly reminded me to lose weight.
Yes, I need to watch my weight.

You see, so many things had happened recently. I shared it to some, I still have not shared it to others yet. Truth is, I don't really want to share. I'm a little tired. It seems, as if, testing keep coming, even before one ends, there comes another. I find myself having to adapt to sudden changes very frequently.

Sometimes, I feel that I'm not good enough.

I'm not good enough, I don't even dare to pursue dreams. I am neither here nor there. I will always remember, how exasperated I feel, each time after I met hammy and we would talk about my Uni plans. I never know, what I really wanted. Gideon always ask me to listen to my heart. Hammy says, I ought to be more single minded. Shirls reminded me that even as I give my best for my ministry, I need to set a deadline for my studies.

And the Lord says...
"I will bless you with a future filled with hope--a future of success, not of suffering."Jer 29:11 (CEV)
"Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed. "Proverbs 16:3
"In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

The best counsel comes from the holy spirit.
The best way to find is to seek actively.
The best way to ask, is to pray.
Prayer and Patience.

I know I am not good enough, but God is more than enough for me. He will make me good, very good.

What's UP!

Recently, I had been busy, but I realise in a rather ineffective fashion. Guess what? I'm gonna be even busier! But I'm glad, God took some things out of my life, so that I learn to be more holistic. Subconciously I had been stuck to a comfortable routine, time for a change! Yes yes...Chantel needs to be more effective! Seriously, I am very excited for what is to come. =)

And.... Chantel thinks that...

Chloe's Myrte Sunglasses is pretty =) Check it out.....

I'm still addicted to Time after Time by Eva Cassidy

Be strong.

Be very strong.

It's work, ministry and family. It ain't easy. But with God all things are possible.

Didn't I pray for a miracle?

I encourage one friend recently with this phrase, "keeping smiling, keep shining"

Think I need it now.

Guess what? I accidentally gave away my bible, which I later realise was a birthday gift from the old Jc grp. >.<
I just realise the second gift I received from the JC group is also a bible. =.=
Yes people, my brown cover bible is officially gone.
Any kind soul wana bless me with a new bible? A portable one?

Parents

As a child I'm rather pampered. I love the attention that my father gives me. So when I sleep, well, sometimes I pretend to sleep... I will kick my blanket away, so that he will put it back for me again. Deep down our hearts, don't we all yearn to be care for and love for?

While dad was gone...along the way God sent many to care for me. Oh of which is a particular shepherd in my life, who really cares for me, like a parent does.

I was listening to this song " I will pray" and I'm reminded of her. While I was still her sheep, I'm like a spiritual infant knowing nothing, still very "innocent" to God's ways and God's love. My life was primary self centered. Only knowing how to cry out for my own needs to be met. She is patient to meet my needs, because of that I became vulnerable to her. I remembered in one worship, as we were worshipping with this song, I will pray, I saw her kneeling down, and as she stood up she was tearing, crying actually. Why? Because she felt a strong burden, for the people, the non believers. I was amazed by this. I was amaze by this relationship she has with God, and I make a mental note that "wah, I want to be like that too."
Monkey see, Monkey do. I knelt down and prayed for compassion for people. I have none back then.

You see, as a spiritual parent, this is the kind of thing you can do, to your sheep.

I remember yet another shepherd, who really took the effort to tolerate me, and love me. She understands my sighs and my "pretension". She always make me feel cherish and loved. Koh Ee Voon, for every little thing that you do for me, I really appreciate it much. It surprised me every now and then that you can so accurately guess my thoughts, haha... even though at times I refuse to admit it >.<
You are someone whom I can trust. =)

Yet another shepherd. She never fails to encourage me, to cheer me on. Sometimes I feel as if I haven't love her enough! She is such a strong pillar in my life. Our love hate relationship is one of it's kind. Of which I know she loves me more. And I am very privilegde to see the many faces of you =)

Now, my Chief shepherd in heaven, is a tender loving father. The one whom I know, who holds my future and holds my hand. My earthly shepherds are able to love me, because he first love them. I can love the people around me, also because he first love me. It's good to be a "blur" sheep when you know that you have such a strong leader with you. With all this shepherds in my life, my life feels safe =)

Hammy says: You know I will support you in everything you do ya?
Eevoon says: God showed me miracles in your life.
Debbie says: I kinda miss talking to you!
Jesus says: Never will I leave you, Never will I forsake.

*Lord, your grace still amazes me.

Maturity.

Recently, I learnt much about maturity. God is simply a really deep God. Help me to think deeper each time something happen and I seek him. I've learnt to be patient and prayerful rather than jumping into conclusion. Given my choleric and melancholy nature, it's much easier for me to very quickly dwell in negativities. But security in God had really change me quite abit... and each time I decide to trust in God, he never fails to be faithful. And the amazing thing is, even times when I am unfaithful, God is still faithful. Not just this, but I also see how God is faithful to those we are faithful to him! There's always the ongoing battle against this negativites, if such battles burns calories, I would have been an 8. Speaking of which, I am skipping gym today! again. Rahs.. I think I shall go for a jog after I meet Gideon...

Going independent in my finances had made me learnt not to squander so much. ayes. Seriously, earning money is not easy. But I learnt to be less pampered and spend more wisely. I remember how Shirls shoved me away from a shop to stop me from buying implusively >.<
I really buy alot of useless things =.= I have always wondered why, finances seems to get ever tighter and tighter since I know God, but I guess it really helps met to understand not to take things frm granted. That itself is maturity. Aint it? haha

I was talking to Rachel Fong on Sat night. It was a long chat and I really enjoy it. We shared our hearts out and convictions. There's something different when talking to someone who walks closely with God and someone who don't. It's not a age thing but maturity. She commented that when I first come to church, my leaders never thought I was the "potential" one, it seems like I just wana come here and have fun. Haha.... I guess that's quite true. I gave many many problems to my shepherds then. I think the worst must be huishi and hammy. hahaha. Recently in a card Eevoon gave me, she wrote that she is very amazed by the miracles God had done in my life.

Wah.. note the word miracle.

Me, myself was one a terror. ^^

So, let's all jiayou in being good spiritual parents, never giving up on our sheep. For you never who they can be next time. =)

*NED 100

Lifestyle of evangelism

After yet another late night chilling with rachel fong, I had interesting cab ride home. Now, normally I am not a very talkative person in a cab, but perhaps, coz it's late who guess what, I begin this conversation with the cabby...

Cabby: What you do for a living
Me: I taking a study break now
Cabby: still schooling?
Me don't bother to explain. I explain too many times.
Cabby: So are you into the casino games?
Me: Uh... I don't play those stuff. (Dunno why, I decided to add in) I am a Christian.
Cabby: Can earn money you know?
Me: Well, can also earn from investment
Cabby: Gambling also investment
Me: It's many people hard earn money. Casinos prolly earn more than bank
Cabby: That's true
Me: I believe that is a way to make money with consicence
Cabby: Conscience? So you goin church tmr?
Me: Nope I went today, I go to a youth church
Cabby: The church only for you?
Me: For young people =.=

Cabby: Do you see Jesus Christ face to face
Me: uh... not really, I heard of such stories...
Cabby: One strange morning, I pick up two different ladies in two different location and they told me they saw Jesus Christ face to face.
Me: Oh so how you feel?
Cabby: I think maybe Jesus is trying to tell me something
Me: So what you do?
Cabby: I try to go to Catholic church
Me:why catholic?
Cabby: I was born a Catholic...

Anyway... the conversation just went on quite abit. Unfortunately, we reach my house before I can share more about the Christian church.
But I'm glad that, I've gotten a taste of what it means to live a lifestyle of evangelism. Grabbing every chance to share Christ. =)

Rojak

Both my real and virtual desktop are like rojak.

In the studyroom...

I have a stack of unread books ranging from leadership books, christian lit, to pyschopath thriller.

Magazines all stacked up...

Virtually, I too have many unread stuff...

Rickwarren's newletter.... Elle.com updates...

Reading....reading... reading...

Still I stole time to randomly look and see and i come across this

And so I say, chantel like DKNY. =) It's ever so chic.

Time after Time

"If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
Time after time"
-Eva Cassidy, Time after Time

I could feel him singing this...

They often say God is desperate for us.
I believe so.
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Don't it sound like those lines from dramas, will the girl will tell the guy, if you really want to find me you can find me.

He is desperate for us, that's why he expects us to be desperate for him. We are after all made in his image.

Haven't heard of the phrase, "Desperate people, cling on to desperate people." hahs...

If he is so desperate for you, wouldn't be the union between two, so intense, so passionate and beautiful?

Now, worship is about desperateness. If there is no intention to be desperate in seeking, then no point in worship.